An Abortion She Regretted

20 October 2020

Korina Posikei

New Erima Primary School, NCD – THE last thing she saw was the ceiling light. She was injected with something and the room started spinning and growing smaller and then she suddenly fell asleep.
She woke up with pins and needles all over her body, she could neither talk nor feel anything. The doctor was talking to her but she couldn’t figure out what she was saying. She could hear nothing but echoes in her ears.
Still feeling dizzy she got up, sat on the bed for a while until she gained consciousness then walked out from the hospital. As soon as she stepped out, the wind blew right in her face. The place was shivering cold and the sky was dull.
Her last class came to an end with the sound of the school bell. Exhausted, she grabbed her bag and came out. Her mum was already waiting for her at the parking lot. She was part of the school volleyball team at that time and they were supposed to go for training that afternoon but it was cancelled so she went straight home.
There was an upcoming championship and they were going to be challenging the other school in the next town. Her parents were so strict on her that when she didn’t have training, she would go straight home. She didn’t hang around with her friends that much. All she did after school hours was to stay indoors, do her homework and play volleyball.
Without a final training session they went head to the volleyball championships. Their school won the game so the girls in her team planned a party at the captain’s house and asked her to join them. At the party she was introduced to a boy whom she found very appealing even though he was three years older than her.
After that night, they started dating and slept out for a few nights. They met up every day at school. It felt so right but she started to lose concentration on her studies. She also skipped classes and sometimes she didn’t attend trainings just to go hang out with him. She even started to sneak out from the house when her parents were fast asleep. All of this was happening without the parents knowing or even suspecting anything.
She did not realise that what she was doing was risky because she was so into him. She just loved being around him and spending most of her time with him until the day came when she found out that she was pregnant.
She cried the whole night. She stopped answering her friend’s phone calls and she even stopped going to school. She was so scared to tell her parents about it. She felt so alone and helpless. All her dreams came crashing down. She tried telling her boyfriend about it hoping to get some assuring words and comfort from him but instead he was so disappointed and mad with her.
He kept on pressing on the idea of getting an abortion.
She just wanted to reverse everything so that all of these would not have happened in the first place. She didn’t know what to do next. She didn’t know who to turn to.
A few weeks passed before she gained the courage to tell her parents. Her mum was pissed off with her. Her dad didn’t want anything to do with her, he couldn’t even look at her.
Mum kept on stressing about their family’s reputation and what other people would say and think about them. They both started talking to her into getting an abortion as soon as possible.
She felt helpless. Her friends from school and the volleyball team eventually found out and they all began pressuring her to get an abortion. They kept on talking about the team’s reputation and everything and didn’t even bother to ask how she felt about the whole situation.
It was a dead end; she was left with no choice. So she went to the hospital. The doctor told her that she was five weeks pregnant. She asked if it wasn’t too late to get an abortion and he said it wasn’t but then asked her if that was really what she wanted.
She was still unsure but with the pressure that was coming from her boyfriend, her friends and both her parents she was left her no choice. She didn’t want to disappoint and embarrass her parents or her team mates so the abortion was the only option left.
As she walked out of the hospital after successfully completing the procedures of the abortion, she felt so guilty, disgusted and selfish. She couldn’t even bear the sight of her own reflection.
Her mum picked her up and dropped her off at the house. She realised that she just hurt someone who was harmless, someone who had neither strength to fight back nor a voice to say something about the situation.
She thought that getting an abortion was going to be okay but things just got worse because she stopped a heart from beating and it was dreadful.
She regretted it all.

• Korina Posikei from New Ireland is in Grade 8 Red at New Erima Primary School in NCD.

This story first appeared in the Weekender, The National of 25 September 2020 https://www.thenational.com.pg/school-writing/?fbclid=IwAR2yH-uWKwPNZxZ_UTiXKqOxNeEMxM04eLaFi9VQ9OM1cUWsGHX3pYIpsMs.